tarantula: (viii)
I have a lot of writing to do this weekend. And you better hold me to it... self!

I have:
• a few hundred word outline for a pinch hit and what think is a pretty nice opening
• a mess of a h/c treat. It desperately needs a revision/rewrite also an ending

Kind of want to try to write something for the unclaimed pinch hit but I think I'm already stretching myself too thin. If I do write something is would just be a stream of consciousness, introspective piece. A lot of people don't like those much so I don't want to do it just to do it, you know? What's the point if the recip doesn't care for it?

After that I want to write werewolf AUs and spooky Halloween fun. But that's for next week. I'm tired.
tarantula: (ii)
AO3 username: meru

Hello, thank you for checking out my letter. This is my first multi fandom exchange so I hope Go as spooky and dark or light and fluffy as you want. I like both but I am very here for a Halloween-theme or at least an Autumn-aesthetic. You're free to use my prompts and ramblings as a jumping off point or do something else you might have in mind. I don't have any triggers or traumas you are likely to hit

General Likes:
• Canon Divergence / Creative AUs
• Body horror
• Extreme Body Modification
• General sense of unease/dread
• Ghosts and the paranormal
• Monsters
• Hurt/Comfort
• Blood/Gore
• Occult and Witchcraft
• Calling upon forces beyond your understanding
• Chill Demons
• Rodents
• Spiders
• Things that are creepy and cute
• Tentacles / Ovipostation
• Aliens / Xeno
• Breeding
• Worldbuilding
• Missing Scenes
• Unrequited or Shameful Feelings
• Loss of Senses being treated seriously
• Accidental Soulbond/Forced Intimacy

General Dislikes:
• Unrequested ships
• Mundane/Modern AUs
• A/B/O
• Generic Zombies
• One half of a requested ship Nonconing the other half
• Animal Abuse
• OTT Angst
• Being a dick to minimum wage employees
• Priest/Nun Kink

Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator
So I requested Joseph's family without requesting him. I like Joseph, he's interesting. It's fine for him to appear or not as you see fit, dear writer. I just am uninterested in Joseph-centric fic for this exchange.

I'm really only interested in gen stories. Not interested in the secret cult ending.

Christie and Christian
• Christian didn't get a personality beyond enjoying playing up the creepy twin thing with Christie. What does he like? Does he play princess ponies with his sister or is he more into transforming robots?
• Just how much work do they put into their creepy twins shtick? Who is the evil twin? It's Christian, right? Or do they take turns?
• The twins being extra creepy at the church's Safe Halloween party/Fall festival because you know there is one every year and their dad has to chaperone. They probably look perfectly adorable in whatever costumes they ended up wearing but now they have all new and more obscure horror lines to spout. Is the party saved or ruined? Is Dad amused or horrified? Mom is probably secretly proud.
• The kids messing with the occult. Because they think it's funny? Or they legit want to cast magic and summon demons?

Amanda and Any kids
• Amanda would probably get really into Halloween, make her own costume, decorate the whole yard, carve all the pumpkins. She's her dad's ticket to a better display than Brian's.
• Halloween festivities with new step-siblings or neighbor kids however you want to swing it. Taking the younger ones Trick-or-Treating, getting up to some age appropriate fun with the older kids or keeping the boys out of too much trouble.

Robert, Mary, Damien
I like that they're friends. Any combination of these three is A+

• Cryptid Hunting, Searching haunted places, hanging around cemeteries. What if they actually find something? Are they prepared to deal with that? What is even the plan? Robert pulls a knife, Damien hides behind Mary, the dog goes crazy barking and they all run for truck? Is that the plan?

Robert tells more clearly bullshit stories to anyone who will listen.
Mary & Robert: Haunting a bar's Halloween party
Mary & Damien: Taking fun Fall-themed pictures of the shelter's adoptable pets

Mary: We never get to see her interact with her kids. Does she encourage the twins, worry about Chris, ever actually know where the baby is? What was that "fifth time at the rodeo" line about?
• While Joseph and the older thee kids are at the Safe Halloween, Mary is home alone with Chrish. She could stay home and answer the door or she could snag the good stuff for herself, drop the rest on the porch, and go hang out at Damien's. Can't get up to trouble with Robert when on baby duty.

Damien: I bet everyone expects him to be really big on Halloween but maybe he doesn't actually care that much for what the holiday has become. It was better in the Victorian era. But let the kids have their fun. Maybe non-neighbor kids are to scared by the goth Victorian aesthetic to go trick-or-treat at his house. There's rumors that actual vampires live there.

The Good Place
Eleanor/Tahani
I ship them so hard. I love the development from thinking Tahani is so fake and annoying to genuine friends more important that any man, to Eleanor realizing she is legit into Tahani. They are soulmates. They complete each other in some forked up way.
• A reboot of the neighborhood makes them soulmates
• They work together (forced? by choice?) to deal with things going wrong. Maybe the neighborhood starts taking on more and more aspects of the Bad Place. A decent into heck.
• Do they celebrate Halloween in the Good Place? Or is it the Bad Place?

Jurassic Park (1993)
Alan/Ellie
This was my first OTP. I was a little baby and I knew these two belonged together. (forever upset about JP3. At least they're still close and in each other's lives.)
• Dealing with PTSD-symptoms post-park. Helping each other heal
• Embracing after a close scrape with the dinos

Velociraptor
• Lead Raptor is the new ex-Mrs. Malcolm. Yes this is a crackship. Serving divorce papers. The real sticking point their lawyers have to argue is whether or not she's allowed to eat him now.
• Raptor hunting her human prey. It's got to be a fun challenge.

NieR
Emil
The kid lives in a seemingly haunted mansion atop an ancient science facility. He never goes out and he's always blindfolded. How does he pass his days? How desensitized is he to spooky happenings? How traumatizing is it to turn random things to stone? Does he remember the statues with the pained expressions?
• Toasting marshmallows and telling stories with Kaine when they aren't allowed in towns.

Original Character(s)
I am fascinated with the world of this game. It's so openly hostile and it's dying. It seems like all the replicates at least know there isn't much time left. Everyone in the Aery is too scared to leave their homes when strangers come. The masked people in the desert seem happy-ish but there are thousands of rules for them to follow. Almost no one leaves town. And the shades just want a body and not to be killed.
• Tell me some stories about these last days.
• Giant monster Shades wrecking shit

Thinking Sideways
The hosts record an episode on fandom mystery. Or host of writer's choice takes lead and researches the mystery for a possible episode.

Possible crossovers:
• VLD: The lost Kerberos mission - what really happened? Pilot error?
• Jurassic Park: Anything really - the disappearances near the islands, is there dinos? In the book it's covered up, the movies just let the survivors go public with their stories
• Drakenguard/NieR: A dragon appeared over Tokyo, did battle with another suddenly appeared monster, then was shot down. What was up with that?
• Anything from the Original Works tagset

Or while researching they accidentally summon something or enter a contract.

Voltron: Legendary Defender
Shiro
Basically, just fuck him up. Tell me stories from his lost year of fighting to survive and horrible experiments. Or make up other aliens to capture him and do all new terrible things to him. Nothing is off limits.

Or if you want to be nice to him because he deserves nice things I always love Shiro getting taken care of. I ship him with everyone (except Matt and Slav) Or just taking care of himself. Give me that good Shiro content.
tarantula: (xi)
I haven't watched Gundam. Okay I saw WING and parts of SEED when it was airing on Toonami back in the day. I know basic stuff about the characters in 00 from RP osmosis. But I haven't seen any of the OG Universal Century.

THIS ALL CHANGES TODAY! I found a list of the chronological order of all Mobile Suit Gundam series/movies/OVAs/books/comics. I'm not watching in air date order.

Thoughts and reactions in the comments.
tarantula: (x)
I've started taking the dog for walks every evening after dinner. He gets so excited it's cute. I lowkey love his squeaking. It drives everyone else crazy but I let him run circles and squeak while I get my podcast queued up.

Today I wasn't sure if I wanted to go for a walk - the smoke is pretty bad and it was still hot - but he ran into my room and started staring at me.

I said, "What? You wanna go for walkies?"

That was it. He started dancing around and crying.

He's lucky I like going on these walks. Otherwise he wouldn't get any. Taylor says she wants to enjoy her time off which I guess means not taking her dog on walks.

If he likes me more it's because of the walks.
tarantula: (iii)
Had the house mostly to myself this weekend. It's been disgustingly hot so I caught up on some movies I missed last year.

First up, Trolls. It was fun, colorful, cute. Did that thing where if two characters sing a duet it means they're in love now. The message I got from it was "Drugs do not bring true happiness." It's a way better anti drug movie than Refer Madness so I recommend it.

Then the Magnificent 7. This was a good movie. I love a good western and this hit all the right buttons. I cared so much for all these mostly terrible people. Goodnight and Billy deserved better.
I always get a kick out of alternate names for the US Civil War. It gets referred to as "The War of Northern Aggression" here. But I think my favorite is "The War of Pacific Northwest Non-Participation"

Next I watched Lego Batman. I think my favorite part about it was that literally every continuity is canon. Batman just goes through some weird phases. And Joker's design was great. I love watching his face move, it's so creepy. Overall I didn't love it as much as I thought I would.

I don't have much to say about Mad Max: Fury Road. On a technical level it was really cool to watch.

The final film I saw was Logan. I didn't know Xavier was in this movie. I knew it was about Logan and his clone-daughter on a road trip but that was pretty much it. I wanted to see it because I love stories where the big scary guy is forced to take care of a little girl, eventually he accepts that he cares about her and they're a family. But this movie made me sad.

I say this has been a productive weekend.
tarantula: (viii)
Hi, I'm super sunburned thanks to spending a few hours at the beach yesterday. I used a sunblock stick on my tattoos so the area around them is not burned or tanned but the rest of me is pretty red. I guess the lotion stuff just didn't want to work.

I also quit my job. Production kitchen work just isn't for me. The lack of a definitive end time was killing me slowly. I need to know when I'm done. I can't keep going with this well work technically ends at 3:30 but I can't usually leave until 5 crap. A few days ago it was 6:00 and the finish line was just barely in view. One of the supervisors sent me home because he could tell I was having a hard time. Honestly, I was upset because I had plans and people were waiting on me and they were worried or upset. It worked out I guess, my sister took an angry nap and was over it by the time I got home. We threw some stuff into the car and made it to our parents' lake place just before it got dark.

There's a serious problem when a job makes me miss PetSmart.

I still have my job at Sodexo in the fall.

I can live for two months just fine on the money I have saved. I'll just focus on other aspects of my life and try to have a nice summer.
tarantula: (ii)
So I got a new job in a production kitchen. The supervisors are alright. But I kind of hate it. I love cooking but it's not really cooking it's more portioning and vacuum sealing food to be shipped off and served at a deli counter later. I think I'm going to quit soon. I don't feel like I'm a good fit there.

At least I made a new friend. He seemed desperate for someone to talk to. (Mostly because he kept saying he's new in town and has no friends) so I kind of went out of my way to talk to him. He's such a gossip. I also gave him my phone number now he texts me about music. He gave me a ride home the other day and he wanted me to help him buy pants. But I was covered in food and my makeup had washed off so I was not going to go pants shopping.

I think I found my soulmate. He's a 36-year-old dork from SoCal.
tarantula: (iv)
I wish I could be one of those people who forgets things. Just forgets about how people talk excitedly about doing something or going somewhere. Maybe then it wouldn't hurt so much when it's the day before and you're trying to figure out what's going on only to hear they forgot to tell you they can't go or decided against doing it.

There's a music festival in my town every year to kick off summer. I look forward to it. Last year was the most fun I had ever had there. It was amazing. This year was shaping up to be even better. More people were interested (my friend's roommates) so I thought there would be 6 of us. Last I heard three had dropped out. Then the night before one more couldn't go. I'm not upset with her. But I am with the remaining one who couldn't bother to get back to me until day 2 was starting.

It wasn't any fun being alone last night.

Now the fun of last year feels tainted. I wanted to recapture that but now I'm home alone knowing there's music and dancing and fun out there but I can't have any of it.

Here's Pop Goddess Athena He was great. Best half hour of my night.

Maybe my depression is back. I started a new job and it's only been two days but I'm so scared of screwing up and I feel so lost in that huge building.
tarantula: (iii)
Hi hey, I live.

Since the school year is over I am laid off for Summer. BUT I went to a job fair last Wednesday and got a call yesterday about a real actual full time kitchen job. But it would be an hour commute until I'm able to find a place closer.

Right now I'm in a bit of a fog. It's hard to care about things or do anything but watch Pokemon let's plays. Pokemon Uranium is so weird. The power plant has melted down three times already? Half the pokemon are nuclear. But people still try to say nuclear power is safe and good. I don't know I feel like the game doesn't know what it's trying to say.

Tomorrow my sister comes home and I don't have to be this little dogs constant companion anymore. He's pretty cute but I feel like the rats are being neglected. They're getting old and it might be soon that we'll have to say goodbye.
tarantula: (xi)
I need someone to force me to write my exchange fic.

It sounded cute. The exchange is all about flowers and their meanings. Of course I would match with the one person who would pick nightshade and mock orange and such. All the edgy flowers with foreboding meanings. No "I love you forever" or "You are my strength" here. It's all "Beware" "Temptation" "Heartlessness" etc.

Then the prompt asks for one half of the pairing to cheat on his boyfriend with a dark version of him. I'm really trying to get a plot together where they can work through it and have a happy ending. It's just hard. This isn't the sort of thing I thought I was signing up for or what I have experience writing.

I feel like, just do it is the best solution but it's just not cooperating.

I want to write everything else but this.
All Voltron. I need to get into more fandoms.
tarantula: (x)
I convinced work that I need to come in at 9 so I get to keep my 9:00 start time!
Next step is to find a way to get a break. I think I'll talk my manager and figure out a way for someone to relieve the cashier for 30 minutes around 12:30 or 1:00 so I (or they) can get something to eat and sit.

But that will have to wait. It's Spring Break! I have to work tomorrow but I don't mind Friday closing shifts. It should be really quiet though most the students would have taken off by dinner time but you never know. I wonder if that means I'll have tons of extra food like last week, it was ridiculous how many extra salads and sandwiches I walked out with, there was even some yogurt and milk past its sellby. Or maybe they would have figured we'll see a drop in customers and not prepare as many. Only time will tell.

I have a lot of plans for next week but mostly I want to play games. I've only been able to play about an hour of NieR Automata but they were really embracing the bullet hell bits of NeiR at the beginning. Now that I'm thinking about it, the beginning sequence has a lot in common with NieR. Trying to save someone care about, ultimately losing but getting a do-over of sorts...
tarantula: (ix)
It was my birthday and no one included me in discussions on what to do today. At least I was thinking Thai sounded good and we did go to a Thai restaurant. I guess I honestly just don't care about my birthday anymore. After you turn 21 there's nothing much to look forward to. I even regularly forget how old I am.


But great news! My mom's friend has been promising me his old motorbike since last Summer and he finally delivered! I need to wait for the ice breams to melt so I can safely get it out of the driveway but I have a motorbike! No more busing to work. I'm flying down the hill on my motorbike. ...when mornings are above freezing.

Sucky news: They want to cut my hours down to 16. 10-2 Leaving me with just a half hour on either side of lunch to set/clean up. I technically, was supposed to start that last week but... they didn't change the time clock and I didn't know who to talk to since we're under new management. I do not want to talk to those guys from retail. Got it figured out though and I hope my outline of my duties convinces them that the cutback is a bad idea otherwise I guess I'll just quit. Or ask for a transfer. I'll start with transfer. I'm not dealing with their mess for that pay and no break.
tarantula: (ii)
Lent is officially upon us as of yesterday.

Even as a kid I think I liked this season a lot. Christmas time is wonderful and everything but lent made me feel special. It's kind of a weird feeling. Special because I need to give up something I like, because I was one of very few kids at school who did. I remember getting lots of questions. Mostly about why I can't eat candy or have a stick of gum. (Mom always decided that was what I was giving up.)

I think most people expected there to be a long list of complicated rules all about what I can and can't eat on what days. It's pretty simple though. No meat on Fridays or Ash Wednesday (or you could just fast.) In addition you give something up until Easter. It should be something you like or something that will better you in some way.

Last year I gave up soda because I was running to McDonald's for a large every day. It was so big and so cheep I craved that sweet coke. I realized that was super unhealthy and needed to stop. After lent I went to McDonald's much less often.


The point is to suffer (quietly, just a little) and come out of the season a better person for having realized you can live without this thing you like or changed you perspective a little. This year again I'm giving up soda because having access to free soda is worse than over-sized $1 soda. Also trying to give up "negativity" It's important to be positive in such uncertain times.

Tomorrow is Friday. I don't know what I'm going to do for dinner but I'm looking forward to making everyone else's.
tarantula: (vii)
I was right! Mondays are terrible with our cut staff. I can't do three peoples' jobs in an hour. I barely even was able to do the job I was hired for. Then I had to keep on top of tree stations with a massive lunch rush to the door.

"Want to do me a favor?"
No, I fucking don't. I want to do my job. You do yours. But of course I didn't say that. I said what and did the thing. Or part of it anyway.

Also our dishwasher didn't show so that double sucked. Never enough bowls for the soup. Never enough soup for the students.

The food they send over is not as good as the stuff we made in house. I thought the brownies looked really nice, they were thick and fluffy but that beauty did not translate to taste. The brownies our bakery made were thin but they were gooey and delicious. The pizza is lacking. They have the same guy putting them through the oven, but they aren't his pizzas.

I hate it. I hate the change.
Just three more months.
tarantula: (iv)
I lost my glasses somewhere in the snow.
I'm sick of being cold.
I wasn't able to rescue the salads and expiring food last night because the guy I was closing with was way too quick at locking up and he took the keys.

Things aren't all bad, I'm just complaining.

On a positive note, the stronger meds the vet prescribed for my Leon are working. His coat looks so much better, he's excited about treats again and his ability to climb and balance has returned! He still sounds congested but it's only 4 days into a 14 day round. I'm so happy to have my little buddy back.

Anyway how are you?

What does this image say to you?
I'm not feeling inspired by it. I need to stop dragging my feet on this challenge and write something but meh, I kind of just want to get back to million Voltron WIPs and half ideas.
tarantula: (iv)
It's like you're given a car. It's old and has a few problems but you put in the effort and time to fix it up. Then once you've gotten it running smoothly and planning on getting that shiny new coat of paint, they take it back and crash it into a tree.

That's basically what work is right now. I don't know what is going to happen with me. Where I'll be Monday to Thursday. Fridays I'm still working at the bistro.

Also started my art class, I was scars it would mostly be kids since it is a class for ages 14+ but it is actually mostly people preparing for retirement. There is a couple high schoolers. Overall I think I'm really going to enjoy it. So that's one good thing about this week.

Tomorrow I'm going to a hookah bar for the first time. So that's exciting too.
tarantula: (x)
My art class starts tomorrow! I am excited but also terrified to tell anyone irl that I'm taking it. I always felt discouraged from art. I can't remember receiving any praise for pictures I drew as a kid. That's not to say it never happened but I do have vivid memories of my mother rolling her eyes at a piece I was proud of. She didn't think it was any good apparently.

I can just see telling her what I'm going to be doing Wednesday nights and hearing, "Why? You're not an artist. You're wasting your money."
(Everything is a waste of money - tattoos, games, baking from scratch - so I stopped caring a long time ago. It's all relative and economics taught me that everything is worth what someone is willing to pay for it.)


It sucks okay. It sucks to feel like you can't be any good at something because someone else decided a long time ago that you weren't.
tarantula: (ii)
This was the weirdest week.

But it's Friday. I like Fridays because I get to do the cooking for a few hours.
And the jazz band is having a jam session in our lobby.

Next week the art class I've been looking forward to finally starts. It got delayed 2 weeks.

Only, 3 and a half months left of the school year. I want to get a summer job in Sandpoint so I better start looking. Now I have retail, office, animal, and food experience. I should be able to find something.

Then I'll have the space and freedom to work on my tiny house.

Good things still happening, no need to complain.
tarantula: (vii)
It cost me $54 to get home last night. For those of you keeping score, that means I made about $20!

There's so much snow. My lift driver couldn't get up the hill. We got stuck on a side street trying to get to a different route and ended up backtracking quite a ways. Then the street I live on was completely blocked by mounds of snow. No one had driven on it in hours. Had to walk from there.

We're back to December levels of snow. Only the last few weeks it spent melting so there's a lot more ice under all that fluff.
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